So?

When I was in graduate school there were times when I felt so overwhelmed I would resolve to go into the registrar’s office on Monday and resign. Come Monday, I would have talked myself out of dropping out but still the feeling of “this is more than I can handle would seemingly get the best of me. I was a single mom with four kids, three of them teenagers, driving sixty-five miles one way each day to classes, coming home to all the obligations of home—making dinner, listening to kids talk about their day, breaking up arguments and studying for the next day.

One day I met a friend at a local restaurant for lunch. I was telling her about all the pressure I was under. Not only that but how I felt I just couldn’t do it. I felt stupid, incompetent, unable to fulfill my obligations to my kids to say nothing of doing all the research necessary to write the required papers. After all I was in the graduate program for applied psychology and my undergraduate degree had been in Spanish. What did I know about psychology? I was probably the dumbest one in my class. I was definitely the oldest, being north of forty-five. After listening to me for about a half hour, she said, “So?  So you feel you can’t do it, can’t tend to your kids and tend to your classes. So you feel overwhelmed by ten-page research papers due every other week. So what? The kids still need feeding. The papers are still due.”

I was speechless. She was right. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling overwhelmed didn’t change anything. It only made me miserable. Life still happens.

That one word, “so” changed my whole attitude. The graduate program was still hard, taking care of my home obligations was still taxing but it all still had to be done.

Over the years since that revelation, I have used that word multiple times when the enemy tries to dishearten me. When he attacks me with how worthless I am, what a lousy example of Christ I am, telling him “So?” will end the conversation. What can he say? After all, I AM worthless. That’s why I need Jesus. I AM a lousy example, but I’m relying on Jesus to make me better. I’m not relying on my own ability.

So I offer you the simple word “so” when the enemy or your own self talk comes at you telling you all the terrible things you are and all the things you can’t do. The negative things are probably true--at least you're afraid they're true. but you still have to get things done. And the negativity can’t stand against you when you agree with it but do what you need to do anyway.